My Dearest Ones.

First of all, I dun treat u all as like u said "part-time companion." Its just that i really got so many things to balance right now and i really cant take it. I lost almost everyone i was once close to,e.g Jc that grp. Its not that i dun wana spend time wif u all, but i really hope u all understand that she's really important to me right now. As u all would know that i and her had so much history together and this time we are back together, both of us know that this time is SO DIFFERENT from any other time. And i really wish things dun get worse. Im really lost right now. I got so much things on my mind. I really hope u all can juz give me time to think abt it, maybe after my mid years. and now that shes also havin her mid year, i told her that maybe its better to let her concentrate on her studies more. Its gonna be a hard decision for me,as we almost meet up each other everyday except for sunday,but i really want her to do well in her studies. I REALLY REALLY AM SCARED OF LOSING HER.I recently even broke down and cry infront of her. Raga,fad,ernie, really IM SORRY, i know i said this many times but really, things are juz outta my grip and im trying hard to get control, juz give me some time to think abt it. really. I really am so scared now.

- My Dearest One -

There are no words to express
how much i truly care.
So many times i fantasize of
feelings we can share
My Heart has never known
the joy you bring to me
as if god knew what i wanted
and made u a reality.
I'd die to hold you or to kiss u
or merely to see your face
my stomach quivers my body shivers
and my heart increase pace
To give me money or lots of gold
would not be the same to me
I prayed and watched the distant stars
and finally u came to me.